As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
