Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
