my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
