i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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