"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
