She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
