also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
