just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
