The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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