I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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