Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
