My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
there is glitter all over my balls
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