her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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