I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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