wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
