your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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