You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
