I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize