She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
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