You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
