so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
