I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
