Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
