You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
