i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Blood and glitter go together right?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize