found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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