haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize