The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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