either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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