Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
