Define "chronic" masturbator.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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