Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
