i think i have two assholes
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
