check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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