Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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