Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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