pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize