I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You can't motorboat a personality
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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