Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
