Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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