u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
