My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
