like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
