I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
So much Jack, so little girl.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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