quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
and i looked up. we had an audience...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
