On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
