Are we in a gay sports bar?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
