u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize