Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I think i peed on brittanys purse
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
