It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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