You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
