you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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