Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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