I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
