he puts the penis in happiness.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Operation Purity has been aborted
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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