Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize