You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
