Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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