carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
she told me i tasted like america
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
