Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
